Antarctica?
by K.S.T.2012
Summary: E/B; My very first story... Got the idea from 'I Love Lucy' episode where they got that giant freezer. Just read, hopefully someone finds it funny.


A/N: This is my first fanfic, so be nice. Please! This is just a One-shot too. You ever see that episode of "I Love Lucy" where they get that giant walk-in freezer? That's basically what happens here. XD

Vamps/Humans

Disclaimer: I own nothing… :(

'**Antarctica?'**

Bella had come over bright and early, just as always, for the weekend. We had been in the habit of spending the weekend with each other, although there wasn't much time we didn't spend apart anyways. Things were going great now that I had Bella back in my life again. We would also be graduating in a few short months. I couldn't believe time had gone by so fast and yet so slow. But that's just how it feels being an immortal anyways.

Bella was waving a hand in front of my face, pulling me from my musings. She had the most adorable smirk on her face, I took a mental picture to save for my time away from her.

"Bella, do you happen to like venison?" Please say yes. Please say yes.

"Um… Sure, I guess so. That was totally out of left field but, I think I've only tried it once, back in Phoenix." Perhaps I should unveil our newest 'human friendly' house addition.

"Bella, I'd like to show you something. We just got it installed two days ago."

A look of confusion came over Bella's beautiful face. I took her hand and led her to the garage. When we arrived there I had her close her eyes. She smiled like a little kid, but only after I tickled her out of her grimace. Ugh, surprises… go figure.

"Can I open my eyes yet, Edward? I don't wanna trip on anything, not that you'd let me anyways."

"We're almost there, love." We roamed around the garage to the back behind our assortment of cars. Then we were finally in front of it. I opened the steel door slowly and we got an immediate blast of cold air. Bella shrieked at the cold blast and bounced back toward me. I just chuckled at her lightly.

"Umm, Edward. Where are we, Antarctica? Why is it so cold all of a sudden?"

"No. We're not in Antarctica. Perhaps another day. Ha! You can open your eyes now."

She opened her eyes one at a time squinting slightly then they widened exponentially. "Whoa."

We slowly took a few steps inside the huge freezer. It was full of white packaged meat cuts with dates and cut types on them.

"Are you planning on opening a restaurant? Or perhaps a 'bed and breakfast'?" She snickered to herself.

"Well, I got to talking with Carlisle and we thought it would be a good idea to occasionally bring back our 'kill' to freeze. We could use that meat for you or for whoever else comes by hungry. It just seems less wasteful to use the meat rather than just bury it, ya know." I smiled brightly at her. "What other meats do you like? I'm sure we could stock her up pretty quick with whatever you'd like." I chuckled again imagining Emmett stuffing a bear leg in the freezer and labeling it 'Giant Turkey Leg'.

"Well, I guess I see your point. I guess… I enjoy… pork, chicken, turkey… and beef now and then."

"Great. I'll see what we can do." Laughing to myself now, Bella asks me, "Edward, what's so funny now?"

"I… was…. Just… imagining… Rose….and…. Esme…. with….chicken feathers….in ….their hair!" I surprised myself really, being able to even finish that sentence. Whoo! I was now on the floor of the freezer laughing so hard I almost felt the ghost of tears on my face. 'Ok Edward, calm down.' I chastised myself. Bella joined me soon in laughter but not as voracious as myself. After awhile she just kicked me on my backside to signal me 'enough already'. I jumped up immediately with a big grin slapped on my mug.

A fast, light-falling set of footsteps came towards us and I recognized Alice immediately. Bella and I exited the freezer quickly to greet Alice.

"Hey, what's up?"

'That was pretty funny stuff Edward.' Alice spoke to me in her mind.

"I have one word for the two of you. Well, wait how many was that so far…" she looked down with her finger pressed to her lips in thought. "Anyways. BBQ!!!" She screeched while bouncing up and down.

"Uhhhh" was Bella's intelligent response.

Rolling my eyes at Alice. "I dunno, Alice. Who'd wanna come out here to the 'freaks' house for a BBQ?"

"EVERYONE!! Duh."

'Oh geez.' I thought to myself.


End file.
